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Three Natural Dandruff Remedies and the Perfect Cure

The Dandruff Dust-up

I’ve dealt with dandruff since I was 14 years old. It got so bad at one point, I remember scratching my inflamed scalp and watching a blizzard accumulate on my US History textbook. I’d scrape the flakes into a pile, and then continue reading Hemingway’s “The Snows of Kilimanjaro.”

Fifteen years later, I’m still scuffling with a dry scalp. My all-natural wife thinks it’s the additives and perfumes in my shampoo creating my problem, with a bit of help from the preservatives and hormones in all of the mass-produced food I eat.  Luckily for me, she came up with a few clean and sustainable solutions:

Dandruff Remedy #1: Use California Baby Calming Shampoo & Bodywash

She claimed that its natural aloes and nonabrasive ingredients would soothe both soul and scalp.

How it Turned Out:

While it felt and smelled like a box of lemon roses. I could have dunked my head in bucket of water with all-natural fruit flavor, and it would have done my head about the same amount of good. I guess it’s called baby soap for a reason. This stuff wasn’t even remotely threatening to my dandruff.

Dandruff Remedy #2: Dr. Bronner’s Organic Tea Tree Castille Soap

She claimed, “It’s natural, smells good, and it’s highly concentrated. Use just a little; it’s so powerful!” Not to mention the jumble of entertaining, yet incoherent text on the label.

How it Turned Out:

This one made my head feel like a blazing inferno. If the baby soap was a garden hose on a wildfire, the Tea Tree concoction was gasoline on an open flame. At this point I have open sores on my head from all the scratching, and the Tea Tree looked, smelled, and felt like someone had dumped kitchen cleaner on my dome.

I don’t recommend.

Dandruff Remedy #3: Rub Cayenne Pepper into the scalp.

I thought this was a joke too. Apparently there is some sort of neutralizing enzyme that the ancient Mayans extracted from pepper using herbal tea, or reverse osmosis, or something that led my wife to believe that rubbing cayenne pepper into open sores would somehow alleviate itching, swelling, burning, and flaking.

How it turned out:

I went to the store and bought Head and Shoulders.

Allison Chimes In:

I don’t even know where to begin! I take offense sir to your blatantly biased revision retelling of the story. Let’s make some corrections shall we? As your loving wife my instinct was to point you to causes of your dandruff that you had possibly overlooked. I believe they were the winter weather + our lovely hard water, harsh and unnatural ingredients in our shampoo, stress, your caffeine and sugar addiction and/or a possible imbalance of candida albicans. I further suggested we try eliminating some of those factors such as change your shampoo and as we already had some California Baby, designed with gentleness in mind, you tried that. Then when you complained that your dandruff was not cured and refused to eliminate coffee and sugar from your diet (to decrease inflammation) I suggested the Dr. Bronners with Tea Tree oil but noted that it was only a topical solution. And finally after hearing complaints of a fiery scalp, I shared a recommendation given by a friend and further substantiated by my Natural Health magazine of mixing olive oil and cayenne pepper and applying it to your scalp (due to the circulation inducing properties of the pepper) which you quickly dismissed as crazy without trying.

I probably should also note that at your request I went out to by Selsun Blue during my next Target run, but that might ruin your credibility with our dear readers so I will not nit pick that point.

I have to agree with you on the Dr. Bronner’s however. That stuff burns.

P.S.–In case you were wondering, Selsun Blue solved the problem.

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